Mute love
by XSHINNYX
Summary: Clary was scared by her pasted leaving her to take on the world without a voice. She is mute because of her sad past until new student Jace appears. Will he help her to heal and learn to love or will obstacles from her past unravel and get in the way of they happy end? -Jonathon is a good guy in this story xx
1. Chapter 1

**Clary was scared by her pasted leaving her to take on the world without a voice. She is mute because of her sad past until new student Jace appears. Will he help her to heal and learn to love or will obstacles from her past unravel and get in the way of they happy end?**

**So I thought I would try a new fanfiction because I love writing new stories and sharing them to see what people thinks. It's nice to able to write more than one fanfiction its endless fun. So here is Mute love horrible title I know but couldn't think of anything else. (Cassandra Clare owns the mortal instruments)**

CPOV

It was Monday and it was my last year of high school and I had changed a lot since my earlier years in school. After we left school for spring break my mum had told me that my dad was leaving and that my uncle Luke would be moving in with us. It hit me real hard because I loved my uncle Luke well he was my mum's best friend but I called him Uncle Luke. My dad and me where pretty close and when he left I blamed myself for not being the perfect daughter for him and after that on his way to move he dies in a car crash and ever since then I have never spoken another word to anyone. I was a badass mute if anyone spoke to me I would ignore them if someone took the mick out of me I would use my 8 years of martial arts, karate and self-defence lessons and boxing on them and best them up and that's how I got my reputation nobody messed with me anymore. It was the night before I had to go school I went shopping and got new clothes mostly black and red and lace and leather with studs on everything I was more like a biker chick than anything else. With my baby a 98 special edition Harley. It was time to try and get some sleep ready for a new hell tomorrow.

I woke up to my annoying alarm clock and went down stairs to my basement and started my work out which was half an hour of boxing and then I went for a shower and I came out smelling of coconut my favourite. Once I had dyed of and dried my hair I went and picked out a dark burgundy skater skirt a lace top and 5 inch ankle boots and a leather jacket and did my makeup mysterious looking and blood red lips and let my hair be natural which were deep red curls. I got to school on my Harley and got off and let my hair cascade down my back it was pretty long to my waist and them put my helmet onto the bike handles that when I heard someone and turned around. When I turned around I saw the most beautiful person ever. He was golden just golden he had longish blonde locks that curled at the ends, deep golden eyes and tanned skin he was handsome until he opened his mouth.

'Well hello their red I love you bike and I'm sure I'm handsome but there is no need to stare' I glared at him only if looks could kill 'I'm telling you red people will get jealous if you keep staring at me'. I turned around and went to walk off when I felt someone grab my wrist 'I'm sorry if I offend you my names Jace wayland or hot stuff which ever I don't mind' I stared at him and went to walk off again when he tightened his grip even more on my wrist 'Ok let's start again my name is jace wayland and you are?' 'Oi freak don't be touching Jacey you little weirdo!' And my day just keeps getting better the school toy Aline is here to tell the arrogant but hot Jace what I really am! 'Jacey this is Clarrisa Morgenstern and she is the school freak don't pay attention to her!' He looked at me and smirked and then said to Aline 'how do you know she's a freak?' 'Because she never speaks to anyone she's a mute and a mute freak!'

I turned to her and smiled then kneed her in her stomach and slapped her face and made a tired Nosie and walked of knowing full well jace was eye stalking me as I made my way.

JPOV

Who was that fiery girl? She was amazing the way she just took on Aline as if she was a piece of paper it was amazing she was so beautiful and graceful I need to get to know her I hope I have classes with her.

CPOV

I went to reception to get my time table great I had math, English , food , sciences and art my favourite is art I love it and I am pretty good at drawing I found out when my dad left a trade I got of my mum. As I walk to my new locker on the side not near the popular thank god and I put my bag in my locker and headed to my first lesson English. I loved my English teacher Mr lightwood some of the poplars dad but I liked him. We were always doing short stories and creative writing which I loved because I would get top grade because I would do short story boards to my stories. I walked into the class early to get my seat at the back of the class room next to the window so I could gaze out of it when I get bored. I was day dreaming out of the window inching to draw the trees and the big field until someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turn around to see the golden boy himself jace.

'Why hello red mind if I sit next to you?' I shake my head and continue looking out of the window. 'Is it true you don't speak to anyone that you're a mute?'. I nod not looking him in the eye because no one talk to me about this is hurts to much. 'Well how about you write down and answer so we can at least get to know each other?' I turn around and look at him shocked he actually wanted to talk to me or was this game to get me to tell him my secrets so he could bully me with them? I nod and he gets a pad and paper out. When the teacher walks in he tells us that we are partners for the rest of the term and to get to know each other a bit like 20 questions.

'So my name is jace my favourite colour is gold I love football I have an adoptive brother and sister and Mr Lightwood is my adoptive dad now what about you red?' I write down on the pieces of paper my names not red is Clarrisa but please call me clary my favourite colour is red I love drawing and I live with my mum and stepdad.' 'By the angel I actually got you to at least talk to me well write to me'. I glared at him and turned back around to stare of my window. 'Sorry red I guess I'm a bit rude sometimes mostly hot but still I'm sorry if I got on the wrong side of you' I smiled at him and then looked at the door and I couldn't move at all. There standing at the door was my older brother Johnathan I was 17 he was 18 but how he birthday was he was in the same year as me he was the oldest in the year. I got up and ran to the door and hugged him hard. I miss my bother he was my best friend and a bit over protective but I loved him

'Hey there to you to Clare-bear' I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Then I looked at him with my eye brow arched and he got what I was getting at. 'I wanted to move back here I missed you too much and it's the beginning of the term I thought we could do it together'.

I walked him over to my seat there was an empty seat in front of me and I sat him down. John turned to jace and shook his hand. 'Hi I'm Johnathan Morgenstern, Clarys older brother nice to meet you'. 'Hi I'm jace wayland Clarys classes partner nice to meet you' as the lesson went on jace and john were talking about football and I think they are becoming good friends only in an hour. The bell rung and it was time for art class my favourite. I texts john saying I was going to my locker and id meet him and jace in the classroom and he nodded and I went to my locker.

Johnathan POV

The reason I'm actually here back in New York is that my mum called me and said she was worried about clary she had got worst since the last time I saw her. She wasn't a mute at all she would say yes or no or smaller word but know she refused to speak. Mum also found blades in her bathroom with dried blood on the and rang me in a panicked crying so I move back to make sure my baby sister is going to be ok.

JPOV

Me and john were walking to art when clary walked the opposite way so I said. 'Where's clary going?'

'She's going to put her books in her locker'

'Can I ask you something john?' he let out a knowing sigh.

'Yes sure jace but I think I know what it's going to be'

'Why is clary a mute?'

'She's had a bit of a rough time and rather not talk to people'

'I'm sorry if I'm interfering I'm just worried about her I've only know her for a few hours but I feel like I've known her for a longer time'

He started laughing. He was actually laughing at me

'look jace meet me after art outside near the big tree I need to tell you something and you might not believe me but it's true' with that he walked of two class and we sat next to clary.

CPOV

Jace and john walked in and sat next to me jace looked a bit confused so I nudge his arm as if to say are you ok 'Yh I'm fine' he said. Class went by and it was a good escape for me because I didn't speak tot people drawing pictures of how I felt and what I wanted to say was the next best thing. I had drawn a fallen angel with golden wings but feathers were falling out of the wings and it was bleeding but still has an angelic smile on its face it was my way of say the angel was me and I has fallen but the gold was jace because I think I was falling for him but the feather falling out was my worried that jace was just using me to add another girl to his check list and then there was the bleeding I'm not proud that I self – harm but I helps me it take the pain away.

'Nice drawing what does it mean? 'Jace was leaning over my shoulder looking at my painting. I just shook my head hoping he would ask any other questions about it.

'I'm guessing the angel is someone close to you either family or it is in fact you also I think all the gold in the picture represents something or someone and then all the blood on it is either mental or physical harm to the angel' I looked at him my jaw on the floor and couldn't do anything I was frozen he actually understood my picture most people would be thinking it was from the bible or something not go deep in the painting.

'Don't worry you secrets safe with me' I looked at him puzzled did he mean how he affects me like the gold in the picture or the blood? He looked at me concerned and presumed him meant the latter. He stoked my arm and shook his head and walked heart was racing and my arm felt on fire his touch sent pulses throw my skin and butterflies in my heart and stomach why him why did I have to start falling for a player?

**So guys let me know what you think I've rated this M because I want to push myself and try writing about things like I wouldn't normally like self-harm and depression so let me know what you think of my idea and I will try to update as soon as I can if people actually like the sorry kisses xxx **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys so I have been working on mute love and have decided to push myself with my writing and include some darker themes than I have done before. I hope you enjoy the chapter and because im nice I have decided to add two chapters instead of one because I was well in the zone writing this section and decide to add two chapters hope you enjoy x (Cassandra Clare owns the mortal instruments)**

CPOV-

Me and Jace meet john outside and we sat down next to a big oak tree and I looked at him puzzled why he was here and why did he want to talk to me and why was Jace here?

' Clary there is a reason I came back and it's not just because I love you which I do and do want to spend more time with you but also mum found used blade with dry blood on them do you want to tell me what they are from?' he looked angry but at the same time worried and pity. I hate people feeling pity for me. I shook my head as if I didn't know that when jace spoke up and said

'Clary don't lie even I knew from you painting and the fact your all covered up'

I looked at him and could of screamed at him I was angry know how dare they the pity and the judgment just because I'm not one of them blonde bimbos he sleeps with and wears nothing but underwear that passes as cloths he thinks the worst of me .I start to walk off I'm not listening to any of this that until I feel a hand on either wrist and its john and jace stopping me from going.

'No Clary I have finished yet I want you to explain to me why you do it and why you haven't even told or written to me to say what you doing?' I looked at him like he wasn't even family to me how dare he say this to me why does he think I did it? It doesn't take a smart person to figure it out and I was so angry I would show them if they said anything else about it!

'Clary I'm your big brother I love you and you have no real reason to be doing this to yourself yes your depressed and angry we lost our dad but this is just selfish putting everyone through this hurting you self and I will try everything to help you' Oh no he didn't just say he was going to 'help me' I'm not a problem that can be fixed so I decide to show them. I token my pocket knife out of my leather jacket flipped it open and placed it near my wrist

'CLARY DON'T YOU DARE!' my brother screamed at me and took a step closer to me and I slit a thin line on my wrist and he stopped and that's when jace started coming towards me and I placed the knife on my other wrist and did it again but in like john who knew what I was doing jace carried on walking towards me until I place the knife next to my neck and he stopped frozen still. I was shaking from fear and anger and hurt and all this emotions were bubbling up and I didn't know what to do I want to just cut and be over and done with this stupid life I have I'm just pathetic and worthless John just thought it was dad death but it was more I missed him so much and then people were telling me he left and did it himself because how worthless I was and that I'm nothing and I'm not and then there's the memorise I cannot remember before a I was 10 why I couldn't remember everything and it was too much so I want to be with my dad again and that when I decide I would join him and I would speak for the last time.

'John I'm sorry I love you but it's too much first dad then the things I was told I'm worthless I'm nothing I never was and then there are the memorise I cannot remember I'm stuck with the bad ones and no good so I'm sorry but it has to be this way but tell mum I love her and jace I'm sorry I was starting to fall for you but you're a player and I'm a freak and nothing and you're a player so I'm sorry' and I cut my neck and the blackness consumed me .

JPOV

'CLARY!' I ran towards her I never would have thought all those depressing thoughts were in her head and the things she said I can't believe she actually talked to me her voice was like velvet but I couldn't think like this now I rang an ambulance and we went straight to the hospitals. Once we were there they rushed her into a room and sent me and john out of the room.

'John she will be fine she's clary she's a fighter she will be fine' I told john more to reassure myself then him and he just nodded and a nurse come out of the room and came towards u.

'Are you the two lads that came in with the red haired young lady? 'We both nodded and I said

'I'm her friend and this is her brother we have called her mom and she's on her way'

'ok well if you are her family I can tell you she punctured her jugular vein and has lost a lot of blood but she is stable and waiting for a blood transfusion we just need a blood type like hers but we haven't got any so we need to wait till tomorrow' I was curious and to worried to have to wait for her blood to be done tomorrow so I asked

'What type of blood?'

'Negative A I very rare blood type' I smiled a very big smile and the nurse and john looked at me like a had said something offensive

'Nurse go get some needle or whatever I have a few pints of negative a gushing around in these veins of mine' johns face lit up and the nurse smiled and nodded and walked into another room. Two pints of blood later and I was feeling very dizzy but I didn't mind because I was helping clary to live her words keep going over and over again in my head 'and jace I'm sorry I was starting to fall for you but you're a player and I'm a freak and nothing and you're a player so I'm sorry' I was starting to fall for clary and I was sure as hell not going to mess this one up and add her to my list she was to special'.

CPOV

My head felt really heavy and there was a bright light surrounding me and I opened my eyes and I heard bleeping of machines and I released what I had done and all the memorise came flooding back and I remember john and Jaces face as I cut my throat and then it hit my I'm not with my dad. I single tear slide down my face and I felt someone's thumb rub the tear away and it felt like fire on my cheek and I knew why it was

'Hey clary how are you feeling? Jace was looking at me with concern and love? no I must have imagined it then it hit me again what I had said to him about falling for him and my cheek burned bright red and jace chuckled and must of realised what I was thinking of.

'Are you remembering you confessing your undying love for me?'

'No I wasn't more like everything else' I said and jace looked at me shocked and I laughed a little giggle and said

'Yes I'm talking and I'm sick of not talking it was getting boring'

'You know you have very pretty voice almost like velvet' I blushed and he chuckled again

'I think I do remember you confessing you were falling for me' he smiled no smirk a genuine smile

' I think I did but jace you're a player and it would never work out you like having lots of girls and messing them around and I have enough issues if you haven't noticed'

He laughed again as if I was a stupid child which I found affective

' Clary if you were another one of those girls then I wouldn't have given you two pints of my blood to make sure you lived would I'

I looked up into his golden eyes mine emerald green ones tearing up he had given his blood to me?

'You-you gave me your blood so I lived?'

'Yes clary I really like you and I know we have something and I'm not going to miss that chance'

I smiled and began to drift off into a happy sleep.

**Hey guys so what do you think I know it's a big dark but I really want to test myself and see what my limits where. So wright some reviews on what your thoughts are so I can improve my story negative comments are just constructive criticism that I can used so be blunt and tell me what you think x**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is the other chapter I promised hop you all enjoy x**

CPOV

Three months after the incident and I was much better physically and mentally but it had become awkward because I really liked him a lot and I bet it was obvious but I don't think he feels the same way and it's so frustrating because I just want to go and crush my lips onto his but I know it won't happen he is always flirting with Aline and all the other queen bees of the school.

'Clary what's wrong?' I zoned out on Izzy talking to me great now she will know that something's up.

'Nothing just tired I'm sorry I zoned out' I gave her a fake smile that she was so seeing through.

'Clarissa Adele Morgenstern do not lie to your best friend!'

'Well the thing is I'm not lying I am really tired and I actually did zone out see no lying' I gave her a happy smile for proving her wrong and she just rolled her eyes at me.

'Fine you proved me wrong about that but hat where you thinking about you have that face and it worries me'

'What face?'

'The lost puppy face so please tell me'

'Fine! I was thinking about what happened three months ago' I said and looked at my hands.

'Oh Clary I'm sorry I didn't mean to be so stubborn on you an what happened is in the past you don't have to think about it'

'But some of the stuff in the past I wish was in the present'

She looked at me with a sad smile and then as if something clicked her eyes were dancing with excitement

'OMG you mean jace!' she started to squeak and giggle.

'I did not mention him at all' I said while blushing and go up and went to walk off before turning to her and saying

'Please don't say anything I will be super embarrassed and more bullied' and she nodded and I walked to my art class to see the golden angel himself.

I entered the class and went straight to the back of the room to my seat ever since I started to like jace I started to push him away and now he is friends with the cheerleaders and jock and doesn't even acknowledge me which hurt a lot because I really care about him but it must be a one way street because he doesn't feel the same. As the class starts to take their seats Aline comes up to me and glares at me and then says

'Stay away from jace freak or I will make you regret is' I looked at her puzzled

'Whatever on earth are you on about?'

'You know what I mean I'm Jaces girlfriend leaves him alone!'

'Look sweat heart I haven't talked to jace in three months so whatever gives you the impression I have anything to do with jace?' she looked at me shocked

'Then why when we were kissing he said you name and then left?'

'I don't know go back to him and ask him he knows himself better than anyone' and I made the jester as if to say shoo and she stormed back to her table when the man himself walks I jace. Looking as handsome as ever with his golden curly locks and golden honey eyes. Perfect he noticed me starting and gave me a smile and I smiled back when he walked straight pasted the poplars and sat next to me in his old seat my heart was beating so fast.

'Hey r dhows it going long time no sees'

Hey jace and yh it is a long time three months not that I would know' and I blush hardly and curse myself

'Good to know I was wondering if you wanted to meet up after school to catch up.'

'What about your girlfriend she just gave me quite the talk?'

'Who's my girlfriend?'

'Aline she said you were her boyfriend and that when you were kissing her you said my name and told me back of?' I gave him a suggesting smile and looked at him. He blushed omg jace wayland blushed

'Omg jace are you blushing?

'Yh I'm not going out with Aline and yes I said you name when she kissed me I will explain everything when I see you tonight'

'Ok looking forward to it' and then he turned around to me and kissed my cheek. I blush so much and smiled.

JPOV

I kissed her on her cheek and turned round to see her smiling and touching her cheek. YES! she like me to ever since that day at the hospital she has pushed me way and I let her but not this time I love her I think and am going to tell her.

CPOV

I was still blushing when jace went back to sit next to Aline which didn't bother me because I was still on cloud nine after he kissed my cheek and I just needed to have this class over so I could go and fan girl with Izzy. I was brought out of my day dreaming when I heard jace and Aline ague with each other about something I couldn't hear until Aline stood up and said

'Screw you jace I though you wanted me to be your girlfriend not freaks1' and stormed out the class room. Did she just say that jace wanted a freak as his girlfriend? He couldn't mean me? The bell rang and it was lunch time and I ran out the class room to go and find Izzy to tell her about what had happened in the lesson. I saw her on out normal table and motioned for her to follow me and she told Simon, Maia and Jordan she would be right back and I headed for the toilet and she followed.

'What's up? What's going on?'

'I'm really confused and needed to talk to you about what happened in my class just'

'Well don't just stand they all quiet tell me' she looked much too exited

'Well I was in class as normal when Aline queen bee and she went on at me saying how jace and her were BF and GF and for me to back of cause when they were kissing he moaned my name and then jace came in saying long time no see and that he wanted to meet up after school then I told him what Aline had said and he blush JACE FLIPPING WAYLNED blushed then he kissed me on my cheek and walked off what does that mean? 'I let out a breath after my little episode and looked at Izzy who was smiling like a Chester cat at me.

'I think one jace wayland has a crush on one Miss Clarrisa Morgenstern and I think it's time to put my plan into action' I looked at her puzzled

'What plan?'

'My plan on getting you and jace together duhh why do you think he talked to you today out of the blue?'

'I don't know it was strange'

'It's because I told him to talk to you because I confronted him about you because I see all the time how when he looks at you with such I don't know but its heart melting and when you laugh he smiles and seems to have a spark in his eyes and it amazing that the two of you like each other so much but are scared the other won't feel the same way so I intervened and am giving you too a little push' I smiled at her with such hope and said

'Does he really?'

'yes I've never seen him act this ways and I'm his sister I see everything he is with a girl he gives them blank smiles and when he is with them he looks bored and doesn't care but when he looks at you he is alive and his smiles is genuine I've never seen him smile like that before so I'm helping because I want to see my brother and best friend happy but just warning you don't listen to what anyone else's says about him they will just try and turn you against him' after we chatted about jace and the plan for tonight Izzy invited me over so she could get me ready for him even though we were just going to chat and stuff. We got to Izzy's house and went straight to her bedroom and I got my mum drop off nearly all of my clothes and shoes.

'Izzy with this whole make over I don't not want to look like myself I just want to be me because if he does like me I don't want to change'

'Yh ok clary I'm just going to help you choose' I smiled at her and we looked through my clothes. When I was done I was wearing a black lace top with a black vest top on underneath tucking into a washed denim skater skirt a brown leather jacket and some back ankle boots with golden buckles a 4 inch heels. My make-up was smoky eyes with a bit of grey and purple lip gloss and my curls were cascading down my back I didn't do anything to them and I has an angelic rune necklace to complete my outfit.

'Wow clary you look hot'

'Thanks iz I'm really nervous' I gave her a small smile and she smiled back

'you will be fine and just enjoy yourself' there was a knock on the door it was jace because we were only going to be talking in his room so I didn't get to dolled up and I said I was just going to talk to Izzy and id go to him. I opened the door to see jace looks as handsome as ever with his golden eyes and curly locks wearing a black t-shirt with low riding blue jeans and Nike dunks he looked WOW.

'Hey I was just wondering how long you were going be I wanted to catch up' he gave a shy smile. How cute.

'Yh I can come now we just finished talking 'I smiled back and waved to Izzy who have me a thumbs up and a wink and then I walked to Jaces room

**So I hope you enjoyed chapter three leave a review so I can make the story better so any ideas how to carry on or any other plot twist or characters you would like to see in the story just leave a review x**


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